Test: Should You Get a New Job?

Complete this test and your answers will reveal whether you are ready to take on a new job! Some people have trouble making the decision to quit the job they hate, or even like. If you need a nudge in some direction, whether you want the nudge or not, we are here for you.

November is daylight savings month, when some time zones fall back an hour. You think:

I hate daylight savings, the benefits do not outweigh the downside
Calling it "Daylight Savings" is stupid. How is daylight being "saved"?
It's no big deal, falling back is way better than springing forward
In the Spring, it's no big deal to lose an hour. I choose the hour per year I spend at the gym.

You heard a joke: Two blondes fell down a hole. The first one said, "It sure is dark in here, right?" What do you think the other blonde replied?

Yes, thankfully we are blonde and our dazzling hair will light our way.
Yes, but don't worry, men love blondes; some are already on their way to save us.
It's dark in where?
I don't know; I can't see.

Christmas is just around the corner. You think Christmas is similar to your job because:

You work in retail, and you literally sell Christmas gear.
You hate both the Holidays and your job.
They both occur at the darkest part of the year.
You do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Your favorite Kardashian is:

No idea. While you've heard of the Kardashians, you know little else.
Khloe, because it made you mad when Celtic fans taunted then-husband Lamar Odom with "Ugly Sister!"
Kim, because you'd rather think about this Kim and her North than Kim Jong Un and his North (Korea)
Kourtney, because you like her the most.

The phrase you are least likely to hear in 2017:

Ratchet that crank so I can start my Model A car, won't you Wilfred?
I think politicians are honest and forthright.
Smoking does not cause cancer. It also smells really good.
I agree with you.

Papa John's pizza blames poor sales on NFL players kneeling. You think:

Their pizza's taste is to blame for the poor sales.
Sales have been slipping since Bill Clinton stopped eating so much pizza.
Players have a right to protest and viewers have the right to change the channel.
The reason the players are kneeling is that they are vomiting up Papa John's pizza.

You stopped using Uber because:

You thirst for adventure, and missed the experience of riding with a real cabbie.
Uber is German for "above" and in English is used as an adjective. As grammar police, you refuse to patronize a company under such circumstances.
You can't use Lyft for similar reasons.
Many of the men at Uber are sexist jerks.

Hugh Hefner is dead. You think his legacy is:

That he raised journalistic standards.
Wait, who is Hugh Hefner?
A disgrace.
That he is single-handedly responsible for so many men doing things single-handedly.

As a person addicted to meth, your favorite holiday song is:

I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
O Come, All Ye Faithful
Little Drummer Boy
All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth

Your favorite Thanksgiving joke is:

What do you call a ghost of a turkey? A poultry-geist.
What kind of a tan did Pilgrims have? A Puri-tan.
When do you server a tofu turkey? Pranksgiving.
What part of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.

What is the most obvious sign you are going to die sad and alone?

Not going to happen, I have many good relationships!
My cats have started acquiring cats.
Your name is Andrew Wiener
Your imaginary friend just said you would die sad and alone.

Which is the best 'Yo Momma' joke?

Yo momma's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so fat she jumped into the ocean and made the whales sing "we are family"
Yo mama so crazy, whenever she goes running she takes the psycho-path.

In America, they celebrate Thanksgiving. You don't live in the US, so:

You think the holiday should go world-wide, because you are thankful for the US.
You like to hear about and learn about US holidays.
You decide to become a turkey farmer. You'll be rich.
You point out that America includes Mexico and Canada, at the minimum, as well.