Skip to content

Stories
Tests

Should You Worry About a Valentine’s Day Date?

Test Results

Thank you for taking our test! However, you did very poorly!

You scored: 43%. That's terrible.

This means you should go into hiding, eat bacon and smoke cigarettes. This way you'll have fun AND die happy (and soon!). Thanks.

Back to Tests

Take this test to decide whether or not you should try for a date this year. Even if you already have a date, this test will help you determine whether you should follow through.

You are single:

Yes
No
No, but I expect to be soon

You believe in love as much as:

There are stars in the night sky
The number of grains of sand on all the beaches in the world
The distance between the moon and earth
You know, stuff

The last major action you took in order to get a date was:

I asked someone out
I went to a club
I joined a dating web site
I founded a dating web site

The most popular song on the radio the last time I went on a date was:

'Thinking Out Loud' by Ed Sheeran
'Shake it Off' by Taylor Swift
'Maps' by Maroon Five
'Hound Dog' by Elvis Presley

Your favorite Shakespeare sonnet is:

If there be nothing new, but that which is
Thy glass will show thee how thy beauties wear
How heavy do I journey on the way
So am I as the rich, whose blessed key

Valentine's Day originated:

From a free-love hippy from the 1960s who wanted to sell more chocolate and flowers
As inspired by breed of Asian birds who sing, dance and pick flowers as a romantic courtship
To celebrate the martyr St Valentine, who helped persecuted Christians but was killed by the Romans
By Hallmark

Last Valentine's Day, you:

Had a terrific date. First, you had a picnic on the beach, kissed in the warm sunlight, then made love all afternoon.
Had a comfortable date. You've known each other almost your whole life, after all.
Didn't have a date. After what happened the previous Valentine's Day, you needed a break.
Were in prison.

Your parents told you about their first Valentine's Day, and:

It was super-awkward -- TMI!
It was so romantic, I hope that get a date like theirs before I die.
It was a fiasco, but makes a great story that they laugh about now.
Last year, your therapist sailed her yacht around the world, courtesy of your lifetime of daily visits at $150/hour

Ed Sheeran will go down as the King of Valentine's Day songs; your favorite Sheeran song is:

Perfect
Thinking Out Loud
Don't
Galway Girl

If your last Valentine's Day was a movie, it would be:

Die Hard
The Princess Bride
Dead on Arrival
The Three Stooges

Post navigation

Previous Video: How to Rob Yourself and Collect The Insurance Money

Mockumentary, 2002-2020, is a part of The Hans://Anderson Corporation.